Sunday, March 24, 2013

Pity party, table for one please

I realized today how fast my little kiddos are growing up and just how much I am missing with each one. I feel like I am losing out on the greatest moments of their life because I am always busy in the background cooking or cleaning or trying to have everything perfect. Mostly in slow motion because my brain is to tired and fried to be clearly organized or remember where I put anything. Now this might be better if things were getting done or if I had something to show for it. A clean house, or great meals on the table, perfect kids, a perfect birthday party, or even a good looking me... But nope. I got nada. Instead I don the mommy perfume ( baby spit) going on day 3 or 4 of not showering. That once was pulled back hair has now been pulled out by the kids , still in my Pjs because they are the only things that fit cause I am now 40 lbs overweight. And my kids may or may not have the berries washed off their faces from meal time. And poor Charli wants to eat again. It is a far cry from mental picture in my head of how life should be. I look around and feel like everyone is moving on and going somewhere (with their perfect hair, slender bodies and clean house), while I look like i just got out of bed after a late night. And the house is about to be swallowed up in dirty dishes and laundry.
Charli is going to be 4 months in a week, Amelia is now two and Wesley is three and in sunbeams. All I really want to do is sit and read with my kids, play trucks with Wesley or house with Millie. Or just sit and talk with Charli and soak in all her smiles. And I want pictures to capture it all. I can't even remember the milestones for a four month old or what it is we should be working on. And secretly I don't do tummy time like I should because the thought of her crawling around and then running is too much for me to handle. Wesley and Amelia no longer have craft time each day. I can't find the time to sit and work with them on their letters or colors, but we have an app for that. (tis with shame that I admit that). Parenting is now 50 % us and 50% iPhone /iPad. There is so much to teach them and yet an electronic tablet is doing it instead of me. Don't get me wrong I love the iPad / iPhone. I just wish there was an app that would clean my house put good food on the table instead. If only.....

2 comments:

  1. Something that mom told me was that this too shall pass. Rock your babies, play with them. The housework will always be there. My house gets cleaned once a day.. (only because the three older ones are able to help pitch in and clean.)

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  2. so so wise of you to post these feelings! completely normal and validated! this phase is hard but fast forward to when they are all in school and you'll have a few hours to breath. laugh at yourself Sarah! it makes everything better!

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